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Are you one of those people, when you walk in a room full of strangers you feel really awkward? You probably prefer hanging out at home? Shyness is habilitating and stops you from meeting new people and furthermore halt any sort of achievements in life. But wait a minute, are you really shy? Maybe you were once before, however, it doesn’t need to define who you are for the rest of your life. Once upon a time I too was shy and would desperately avoid social situations; I’m the one that would rather stay in my bedroom all day. But at the end it got me nowhere (literally). I decided to force myself to go out and socialize even when I didn’t like it. And eventually from all the fun and benefits of getting out there I came out of my shyness to a great extent. This can be you too. It’s very daunting isn’t it? But it’s ok, we can ease into it and at the end overcome your shyness and more importantly feel confident with these steps.
Work on Personal Skills
Step 1 – Self Esteem
Poor self-esteem is derived from the habit of a poor image of yourself. Shy people fear talking to strangers and introducing themselves because they are scared of rejection, shame, and embarrassment. Your background and what makes you shouldn’t define what you are capable of and who you should interact with. So stop questioning what others think of you because they wouldn’t need to especially when you have a shining personality.
- Find out what your strengths are. Ask yourself what you are good at and note 5 of them down.
- Here are some things you could be good at drawing / sports / cooking / helping / maths etc….
- Now you can use your strengths to your advantage, and when you use these advantages people around you would appreciate it.
- For example, I’m good at baking cakes. I’m also known for it since others enjoy eating my cakes.
- So see you are not that bad after all. 🙂 (How to Overcome Shyness-Feel More Confident)
Step 2 – Positive Thinking
If you were to listen to how you talk to yourself often not you speak words of “I’m bad at” / “I can’t do this” and so on.
- But the thing is all humans have the capability of making friends, it’s in our nature. So you too can do it 🙂 . People usually want to talk and mingle, but some find it harder than others. It just takes a little guidance and practice.
- And if there is a time where you are rejected brush it off, grow a thick skin and move on. There will always be people out there who would enjoy your company. (How to Overcome Shyness-Feel More Confident)
Step 3 – Body Language
Learn and practice how to hold yourself with confidence and project it.
- Stand up tall with your shoulder back and head up high. People instinctively will judge you based on your appearance. Confident looking people are hardly ever questioned on their drawbacks.
- And in turn when we stand tall, we will feel tall and confident too. Try it now and feel the difference. 🙂
- Find someone you admire, it can be someone you personally know or they can be a celebrity. Observe their body language. How does their body posture look like? How do they use hand gestures and facial expressions? Since you admire their personality it’s a great example of how you should conduct yourself. Therefore, to kick your shyness try to copy their body language. (How to Overcome Shyness-Feel More Confident)
Work on Social Skills
Step 4 – Practice Active Listening
Shy people are obsessed with themselves, often thinking about how they look and behave and how others could possibly think of them. But being so self-absorbed can destruct your personality. Let’s flip that around and refocus onto others. So now when faced with a conversation let’s not speak rather place emphasis on active listening.
- Listen to what others are saying and figure out what message people are wanting to convey to you.
- Be active by giving a response. A response can be that you nod in agreement and
- Say confirming words and sounds between what was said such as yes, I agree / hmmm / ok.
- Once you are a bit more comfortable gain more details out of conversations by asking how/when/who/where/what type questions.
Step 5 – Practice Small Talk
Now with a little confidence behind you take the initiative, go ahead and create some small talk. You have to put yourself on the line to cease shyness. With small talk, almost anything goes even if it seems obvious.
- Make a little comment like the weather/sports/how you feel/what trending etc…
- Join a group that’s along your line of interest such as reading, cooking, or sports groups. it will make small talk all that much easier.
- Or even invite others to join you for a fun outing like swimming, movies or coffee. (How to Overcome Shyness-Feel More Confident)
Step 6 – Practice Introducing Yourself
- If you make eye contact with anyone smile and say hello.
- Eye contact also can provide the opportunity to take it a step further by introducing yourself or simply begin by asking “what your name is?”.
- You could get your friends to introduce you to their friends. It provides some comfort and a starting point for you to speak further about yourself.
And you’re on your way 🙂 . Break through shyness because it will be all worth it.
When are you usually shy? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me at @PDHotspot
Until next time.
How to Overcome Shyness-Feel More Confident
How to Build Up Self Confidence
How to Introduce Yourself in a Social Setting
Top 5 Body Language Gestures to Make Anyone Like You
How to Socialise at a Party
How to Calm Your Nerves
10 Things to Do When You Feel Lonely
How to Develop a Positive Attitude