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If you have experienced a breakup you could probably relate to this very well. They are awfully painful… you had invested your entire self towards this one person with your time, energy, emotions, care… love. And to let them go, brings devastation and feelings of being lost, and even feeling physically sick. It takes over you and each day becomes a blur. And you may feel it’s never ending but here’s the beginning to get out of this dark hole. For some guidance on how to deal with a breakup and return to some sort of normal (well it’s a start) and happy life make use of these tips. You are worth it. 🙂
1. Breakup Offline AND Online
The relationship is over in person so do the same with all your online and phone activity. It may be tempting to see how they have moved on by checking their post updates but how does that really make you feel? Your thoughts may entertain that you have another chance with them or it could conjure up memories you wish you could relive. But stop right there, you are living in the past and it is simply wishful thinking. Instead what you should really do – is move on and live for the moment and rebuild towards a future you that suits you. So unfriend them, block and don’t consider any type of contact for the some time. Remember it’s over and any presence of them won’t help you to get over it anytime soon. And with all the hopelessness from the breakup you’d want to move on as soon as possible.
2. Let It All Out
It’s perfectly fine, be angry, upset and sad, you are grieving of a loss and these feeling are natural. Some people may feel the urge to bottle it all up because they may feel alone or don’t want others to know but by hiding your feelings in the long run it will hurt you since you haven’t dealt with it directly. Depending on what you prefer try writing your thoughts outs. You don’t need others to read it, the main point is for you to begin to let it out. Others may find drawing useful, punching a pillow (make sure you don’t hurt yourself or others) or writing a song.
3. Talk It Out
Being upset by yourself in the privacy of your room is the first stage but to go and confide in someone you trust has such a calming effect, it is irreplaceable. If you must build up a bit of courage and talk to someone who will listen to you. Not only it should be someone you are comfortable with but also someone you are confident who will not spread gossip. And better yet, who would listen and understand you rather than making neither judgments of you nor the other party. Being graceful about the whole matter (no matter how hurt you are) will not come back and bite you in the future.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Often when we face a breakup we lose control of ourselves include our health. You’d find your appetite goes, so you don’t eat enough. And others may resort to junk food (ice cream being the most popular, as seen on tv 🙂 ) which leads to over-eating. Both of which you’d feel very sick from. And for most become physically inactive, sitting around all day which again makes you emotionally and physically drained. So to combat it get back to the basics of healthy living. You know what that means just make it your priority eat well, sleep well, move your body and soon after you’ll have created a healthy routine and some positive light in your world.
5. Give It Time
Like all things that have changed and require adjustment it will take time. And yes even though at the moment it will never seem like you’ll be happy ever again. But one month, half year, and years from now your feelings will subdue as new happenings, events, phases, people will occur in your life that the past will only be a memory, and one which would have faded. For now believe, take confidence from those who have been there and done that and be patient and the breakup will be surely be in your past.
6. Assess Your Position
Life is not as straightforward as we wish it to be. After reading this, you may feel motivated to get on with your life. However, humans are humans and we slip up from time to time. And most likely you’ll slip into a routine that is not always beneficial as you’d ideally like it to be. Therefore, a month from now (and do so for every other month) assess your journey. It’s always good to take a step back and think about how far you have come and how you can move on. And this acts as a great reminder of how you want and will live out your life.
As upsetting as it feels, it’s possible for you to move on in a healthy manner. If anything just take it one day at a time, little by little and you’ll adjust to your new circumstance. All the best!
Until next time.